Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Numbers Of The Beast: Top 10 Albums of 2010

The time has come. The end of the year is upon us and Metal has fought hard for my attention in the bowels of my Zune. Now I will crown the warriors of Metal as kings above the pawns.

First off we will award the honorable mentions:


 

 

Sadly, as epic as these albums are, they were barely beat out by the competition. Therefore they must stay in the front room and play with crayons with the rest of the kids.

Disagree with me? Bitch in the comments. The winners after the jump.



10 - Hour Of Penance - Paradogma



Dark, epic, plodding, doom-tinged technical death metal. This album is a monument to their previous works and is absolutely crushing. I spew bile from every orifice when I hear the last track "Apotheosis" and feel like rats are crawling up my legs to bite off my dick. This album is a masterpiece and I hope Hour Of Penance releases more albums like this in the future. Metal NEEDS this.

Stand-Out tracks: Paradogma, Apotheosis, Thousands Of Christs.




9 - The Acacia Strain - Wormwood


"You spread disease when you spread your legs, time to suck today's dick."
In that sentence alone you can tell the hate and anger that TAS brings to the table. Their determination to beat you unconscious with their music is a large part of what makes them great. Vincent's blood-fueled lyrics and growls are genuine and the 8-string guitars crunch and break faces all while being technically proficient. They may not be paving new ground, but they have perfectly executed the operation of driving their aural steamroller over that ground and aren't done until you are crushed beneath their monstrous assault. 

Stand-Out tracks: BTM FDR, The Hills Have Eyes, The Impaler, The Carpathian.



8 - Annotations Of An Autopsy - Reign Of Darkness



The bands previous album "Before The Throne Of Infection" was either hated or loved by Metalheads the internets over. There was no middleground to be had, but on this album expectations were shattered and anuses were prolapsed. Unrelenting  groove fitted with sweet guitar riffs are of course the bread and butter of Metal, but what makes this album a treat for all Death Metal listeners is the tasteful (Gasp!) catchiness with which the album is organized. The album creates a feeling of mechanized slavery for humanity just through its tones and varied nuances that is overlooked by many modern bands. In a word, this album has soul. Even if that soul is black and cold and made of wretched machined steel. 

Stand-Out tracks: Cryogenica, Bone Crown, Impale The Sun.



7 - Immolation - Majesty & Decay


  

I've already opined about my love for this band, but they really deserve to be heard. They have the brutality, they have the hate, they have the bodacious groove. They are Death Metal incarnate. Nothing more needs to be said. You are the cancer.

Stand-Out tracks: The Purge, Majesty & Decay, A Glorious Epoch.



6 - The Ocean - Anthropocentric + Heliocentric



Progressive, heavy, light, eccentric, cognitive, kickass. These are all words that describe The Ocean's dual-2010 releases. It took me a while to get into this band, but once I opened my mind I was latched on and couldn't let go. Their invigorating brand of prog isn't overly-done in the way some prog bands like to weedily and blather with their instruments. The Ocean, like their namesake, splashes you with their sound and lets it wash over your mind before slowly ebbing away and suddenly splashing you again with its cold Metal grace. Sadly, this band was robbed while on tour a couple weeks ago and are feeling the hardship. Support them by listening and buying a t-shirt sometime. They fucking deserve it. 

Stand-Out tracks: Origin Of God, The Grand Inquisitor: Parts I-III, Firmament.

Download - Anthropocentric                                               Download - Heliocentric


5 - Triptykon - Eparistera Daimones


Tom G. Warrior strikes again! After the collapse of the mighty Celtic Frost, from the ashes came Triptykon! A beast made of equal parts soul-sucking ghastly doom and unending abyssal sorrow. This heart(less)felt album is a serenade to despair and the icy embrace of life's true form. As usual, my description of the intensity of this music is a failure compared to the reality of the actual notes and evil melodies. So fuck off and go listen to it already!

Stand-Out tracks: Abyss Within My Soul, Myopic Empire, Shrine.



4 - Rings Of Saturn - Embryonic Anomaly


Holy Fuck, what the Fucking Fuck is this insanity? Those are the things you should be thinking when listening to this album. Goddamn, this is Technical Batshittery on a galactic scale and it sounds like a star exploding at a million miles an hour. If Xenomorphs listened to Metal, this would be their bag. I want this band to tour with The Faceless, Abysmal Dawn, and Wormed so that I can get higher than the sun and pretend I'm walking on the surface of Betelgeuse fighting deities whom pass through alternate dimensions to make war with humanity through time and space. This album rules. The end. 

Stand-Out tracks: Seized & Devoured, Final Abhorrent Dream, Corpses Thrown Across The Sky.


3 - Decrepit Birth - Polarity


 Weedily-weedily-doodily-brutal riff-weedily-doodily-doo-weedily-huzzah-mindsplosion! That is all. 

Stand-Out tracks: Ignite The Tesla Coil, The Resonance, Solar Impulse.

2 - Cephalic Carnage - Misled By Certainty


  
Another band I've given attention to and wish to internet-handjobify over and over again is Cephalic Carnage. They ARE modern Grind. There are no imitators worthy to pay tribute to the monolith of heaviness that is CEPHALIC FUCKING CARNAGE. Technical, unyielding, brutal, lightning fast, elephant slow, rape-face, bitch-slapping Metal that deserves to be heard! GO FORTH AND LISTEN. 

Stand-Out tracks: Abraxas Of Filth, Warbots A.M., Ohrwurm... What am I saying? THE WHOLE FUCKING THING.



1 - Intronaut - Valley Of Smoke


Hokay so, there is this band called Intronaut m'kay? They've got this cool new album called Valley Of Smoke, it's all proggy and has cool musical doo-dads... It's godly and you should love it too. Did I mention it's my favorite of 2010? LISTEN TO AND DOWNLOAD IT NOW YOU FUCKERS.

Stand-Out tracks: Core Relations, Elegy, Valley Of Smoke.

2 comments:

  1. Glad to see Whitechapel on the honorable mentions. I started perusing the site and was afraid you'd mark them off as deathcore bullshit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Negatory, they are talented Death Metal, albeit not the best ever. Still fun to mosh to.

    ReplyDelete