Aural Diarrhea: Hammerween

Happy Halloween Motherfuckers!

Sweet Action.

It was a pretty decent weekend for me as I got to see some old friends, make new ones, and headbang my Saturday night away. So I'm proud to review the 2010 Hammerween celebration at the Beaumont Club in KC. I'm gonna go over a quick review of the 7 bands that took the stage and give you a rundown on their performance good or bad or awful. Here we go.

First up was The Cast Pattern. They play a pretty generic strain of deathcore that seems quite tired in this day and age of overdone breakdowns and chug-chug. They certainly weren't the worst, but they were in no way exciting. 3 out of 10 Horns. \m/ \m/ \m/
Next was Koktopus who are clearly loving their Pantera roots more than they should be. They play the usual southern inspired riffs of the Dimebag variety minus the flair and talent of the acclaimed guitarist. Another band that shouldn't really be getting gigs outside of their family's house-shows. 3 out of 10 Horns. \m/ \m/ \m/

Third out the gate were the interesting At The Left Hand Of God whom I've seen several times before and enjoy on a very superficial level. Basically what I mean is that while they are a talented lot and have certainly gotten heavier since when I last saw them over a year ago, they still overwhelmingly rely on their Melodic Death Metal forefathers for pure inspiration. While this isn't necessarily a negating factor, they don't tread very much new ground and like the previous bands are a tad bit stale. One positive note is that they are very energetic in their live show and they love to play their songs like they actually give a shit. I applaud that kind of passion for their creation and award them 6 out of 10 Horns. \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

The hump of the night was the ungodly terrible Serated. If you thought Koktopus played generic butt-rock via the Pantera style, you would have shit your pants hearing this band play their assgasmicly bad "Music." Holy Fucking Shit. I couldn't even stay inside for the whole set it was so bad. On top of the terribly sloppy drums and guitar work was the white-trash bro shouts that supposedly counted as vocals. This guy not so much screamed, shouted, or growled as much as he raspily talked through the mic. It was a disaster worthy of 2012 happening right then and there. That's all I can really say about it. 1 out of 1 Fuck You's.

Just for you Serated.

Thankfully after the first half of the night ended, the real Metal took its place atop the mountain starting with Diskreet Motherfuckers. Hot damn this band can rip. They practically shoved their brutal as hell brand of Technical Death Metal right up our asses without batting an eye. Each slab of rape was thread through the hoops of kickassery by their frontman Stephen Babcock who didn't back down from the assault. Part of their ferocity was no doubt due to this being their CD release party for their new album "Engage The Mechanality". Which by the way is an album you should all be listening to right now. I advocate seeing Diskreet whenever you possibly can, you will NOT be disappointed. 9 out 10 Horns. \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

Bigfoot Death Metal masters Troglodyte slammed and skunk ape raped as usual. Trog are one of those bands that aren't groundbreaking or super-techy or progressive and they don't intend to be. They are what they are, brutal, uncompromising, hateful, theatric, and all-around fun dudes. I don't think they, I, or anyone else would have it any other way. Their style of brutal death hits all the right places where you want and need it to, especially on such tongue-in-cheek fare as "Ric Flair's Hair" and their awesome goreified GG Allin cover songs. It's fun to listen, headbang, and mosh to and that's all that really matters to them and me. Hopefully they'll be around for a good long while and when their new album drops I'll be there to support them on it. 8 out of 10 Horns. \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

Hammerlord, the band the party is named for finally hits the stage and boy do they hit it. I've heard alot about the band for the past year and yet I've never had the chance to see them live. I'd heard their myspace and I did like what I found, but admittedly I have a certain bias about the Power/Thrash/Original Heavy Metal sound in general. I just don't tend to gravitate as much towards that end of the spectrum. However, tonight I got the chance to really taste their flavor of party Metal and I'll gladly drink the kool-aid again. Their heavier than expected Old School riffs really brought out a feeling of Metal Brotherhood that has been lacking as of late. Even in the midst of several fights in the club, Hammerlord took control of the crowd and spun their yarns about castle crashing and slaying of minions with ease. They even got in some well-deserved digs at the resident karate-choppers/Nu-Metal pushmoshers that diseased the crowd on the drunken Halloween Eve. Truly Hammerlord are better taken in on a live basis like their nationally touring peers Valient Thorr whom thrash and burn with the best of them. Bottomline: I will gladly pay money to see them again on a bill with some other great local acts. They are awarded 9 out of 10 Horns for their noble slaying deeds. \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

Overall, the night was a success even I had to sit through some pretty miserable drek at the beginning. But as usual, the headliners saved the night and made it worth my while and even made me pine for a repeat next year. (With some updated openers of course) So if you want some good times, come out to a show sometime if you haven't yet, it's always good for your Metal health.